You Who Never Arrived

You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of
the next moment. All the immense
images in me -- the far-off, deeply-felt
landscape, cities, towers, and bridges, and
unsuspected turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods--
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house-- , and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,--
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and,
startled, gave back my too-sudden image.
Who knows? Perhaps the same
bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, separate, in the evening... 

Rainer Maria Rilke

Back in Never Never Land

If someone could go back in time, and find the 17-18 yr old Vanessa (probably sitting at home flipping through fashion magazines, way before Facebook ) and tell her that she would one day be living in Alaska and majoring in psychology, I’m very, no, positively certain she would have laughed hysterically in your face! 

Me- the hater of cold weather and snow, live in Alaska  a place I would never even want to visit, yet alone LIVE in, ha, whatever!

Look at me now. never say never ( sigh).

For my Husband ~ A poet I found on Tumbler.....

Curbed and Biased

my eyes are for no other.

handsome forms and

charming words of strangers

fail to turn my head.

my tastes have been

curbed and biased.

reserved for the likes of

only you.

…or your prototype at least…

my heart is incapable of

resounding loudly for another [man].

the kindest gesture or

most intellectual exchange

cannot raise a single hair on my head

nor prickle one pore on my forearm.

I am dead to all of them:

Future suitors are merely a sea of

faceless Johns…

…and in their midst you've surpassed them all.

Tickled PINK!

Things that make "me" happy

Deus unus me iudicare potest (only God can judge me)

The 80's

Psycho Analysis 

Sleeping

Jon Bon Jovi

Cocktails

Day of the Dead Tattoos

Balloons

Whimsical Nights

The ocean

Flowers

Aurora Borealis'

theses are some things that make me happy :)

Chicken Fried Chicken

I had this incredible urge to eat the chicken fried chicken from Luby's and since there is only Luby's in TX and I'm in AK, I created my own....

Here is what you'll need:

• 2 chicken breasts
• 1 1/2 cup flour
• 1 tbsp salt
• 1 tbsp garlic powder
• 1 tbsp onion powder
• 1 egg
• oil

Mix the flour, salt, garlic powder, onion powder together in a medium bowl, beat egg on a paper plate set aside. Butterfly the breast and then dip your chicken in the egg, coating each side, then coat in the flour mixture, then carefully place your coated chicken in skillet and cook for about 6-8 minutes each side, depending on thickness of chicken.  While they are frying, it the perfect opportunity to make some country gravy,  corn bread.  Also serve with your favorite sides, mine were corn and mashed potatoes. Happy cooking.

Weirdest dream yet

I always have weird dreams, but this has got to be the weirdest one yet.....

It starts off as a family reunion in old downtown McAllen, we are eating at some diner and I'm like super pregnant! This is my face in the dream-

Not again I think to myself, then a tour bus pulls up and it's Bon Jovi - out comes the band, I start yelling and my husband tells me to sit down, but of course I run to the door lol! He comes in and says" hey I can see you've been busy" and chuckles! Of course he looks gorgeous, like he does now..

wish he looked like in the 80's like this.....

anyways, he asks me what else I've been up to like if we know each other, by the way this happens in all the dreams  I have had about him, my husband thinks I'm crazy, I just tell him don't hate! So we chat then he orders food and goes to eat in the bus, then my ex boyfriend shows up and wants to talk, ok does he not see I'm preggo! Told u all this was the weirdest one yet, I go talk to him and I can see my husband looking around for me ....

I tell my ex I have to go, he tells me to bring him food, um NO! So I go back to my table and my family is still talking and eating didn't even miss me at all, I see the tour bus leave and I wake up like this...

WTH was that about! I lay there and ponder for a bit, smile, and start my day.

Juicing does the body good

So, I have been juicing for over a month now and so far it has been very satisfying. I haven't yet juiced any veggies, might try it in the near future. After every juice I feel clean, energetic, and healthy. It is so good and so good for you. I don't juice for weight loss, I do it to keep a balanced diet plus to get the antioxidants the fruits provide. You can also add in some protein powder or almond milk to get some protein in. Here are some of my fav recipes:

Drink 1                                                
- 1 apple                                              
- grapes                              
- blueberries

Drink 2
-1 apple
- 1 orange
- strawberries

Drink 3
- 1 orange
- pineapple
-strawberries



Happy Juicing :)